Counselling for Anxiety: What Helps
How counselling helps with anxiety: CBT and other approaches, what sessions involve, self-help alongside therapy, NHS and private options and when to seek help.
How to Support Someone Who Won’t Get Help
How to support someone who’s struggling but won’t seek help: starting the conversation, listening, gentle encouragement, looking after yourself and emergencies.
Key takeaways
- You can’t force someone to get help, but you can make it easier to accept.
- Listen without judging, ask open questions and offer practical help.
- If someone is at immediate risk, call 999 or go to A&E.
On this page
Watching someone you care about struggle, and refuse help, can be painful and frustrating. You can’t make decisions for another adult, but your support can make a real difference.
Starting the conversation
- Choose a calm, private moment, perhaps while walking or driving, when eye contact is optional.
- Open gently: “I’ve noticed you seem really tired lately. How are you doing?”
- Share what you’ve noticed, without labels or diagnosis.
Listen more than you speak
- Let them talk without interrupting or fixing.
- Reflect back: “It sounds like everything feels too much at the moment.”
- Avoid “just cheer up” or comparisons with your own experiences.
Understand why they’re reluctant
People avoid help because of stigma, fear of being judged, not believing it will work, not knowing where to start or cost worries. Address the barrier, not the person.
Make help easier
- Share information about options, like how to find a counsellor or free and low-cost routes.
- Offer to help book an appointment or go with them.
- Suggest a first step that feels small, such as a GP appointment or a helpline call.
- Explain what happens in a first session to reduce fear.
Look after yourself
Supporting someone can be exhausting. Keep your own routines, talk to someone you trust and consider support for yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
In an emergency
If someone is at immediate risk of harming themselves, call 999 or take them to A&E. You can call Samaritans free on 116 123 for advice, day or night. In England, NHS 111 (mental health option) can help urgently.
Frequently asked questions
Can I make an adult get mental health treatment?
Generally no, unless there are serious safety concerns assessed by professionals. Focus on support and encouragement.
What if they get angry when I bring it up?
Stay calm, don’t push and let them know you’re there when they’re ready.
Should I tell their family or friends?
Respect their privacy where possible, but safety comes first if you’re worried about serious harm.
Sources
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